Magical Jokes

“What’s your father’s occupation?” asked the teacher on the first day of the new academic year.

“He’s a magician, Ma’am,” said the new boy.

“How interesting. What’s his favorite trick?”

“He saws people in half.”

“Gosh! Now, next question. Any brothers or sisters?”

“One half brother and two half sisters.”

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The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

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The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

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A magician on a cruise liner had a parrot. Every night the parrot would watch as the magician made things appear and disappear.

One night in the middle of the magician’s performance, the ship hit an iceberg. Miraculously, everyone got into lifeboats and safely away from the sinking ship. The magician, fortunately, had been able to save his beloved parrot.

The stunned passengers and crew watched from the lifeboats as the ship slowly sank out of sight. There was complete silence.

After a long time, over the waves the parrot’s voice could be heard, “All right, I give up. What did you do with the ship?”

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For a while, Houdini used a lot of trap doors in his act, but he was just going through a stage.

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An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.

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The magician who loved his chocolate could perform a lot of Twix.

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The other day I saw a magician walk down the street and turn into a drugstore.

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Q: When is a magician not a magician?

A: When he turns into a driveway!

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Q: What did the prince say after the witch turned him into a frog?

A: Ribbet! Ribbet!

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The local witch once threatened to turn me into a toad, but she changed her mind. She said no one would notice anyway!

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Sign outside a witch’s store: “Witch’s parking only! All others will be toad!”